she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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