Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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