he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
