Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
