Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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