Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
