I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
