I need to stop coming to work sober
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
