I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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