the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
