I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was confusing and full of hummus
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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