I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
