i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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