You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
