At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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