awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
