But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
is it fun? or sober?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
