If i come over, it means nothing
are you still at the devil's house?
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
