You work out of a Hotel?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
