I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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