You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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