I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
