Just cropdusted the office
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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