i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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