White coat. Heels.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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