the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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