so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
