hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think people are normalizing furries
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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