Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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