i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
