if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Mom said you looked used
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
