Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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