Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
