i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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