He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
