yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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