Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
