Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
