I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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