I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
