Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
