did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
