He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
