The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
