Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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