she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
