I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
