wanna go halves on a baby?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
