I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize