We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
