Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
