she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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