I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
