im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
