so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
