she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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