dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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