her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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