whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
