So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
