I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
