Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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