her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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