i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Randomize
