and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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