me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
my poor anus
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
